A CURIOUS LOVE LETTER
THE GREAT LOVE I HAVE HITHERTO EXPRESSED FOR YOU
IS FALSE, AND I FIND MY INDIFFERENCE TOWARDS YOU
INCREASES DAILY. THE MORE I SEE OF YOU THE MORE
YOU APPEAR IN MY EYES AN OBJECT OF CONTEMPT
I FEEL MYSELF EVERY WAY DISPOSED AND DETERMINED
TO HATE YOU. BELIEVE ME, I NEVER HAD AN INTENTION
TO OFFER YOU MY HAND. OUR LAST CONVERSATION HAS
LEFT A TEDIOUS INSIPIDITY, WHICH HAS BY NO MEANS
GIVEN ME THE MOST EXALTED IDEA OF YOUR CHARACTER;
YOUR TEMPER WOULD MAKE ME EXTREMELY UNHAPPY,
AND WERE WE UNITED I SHOULD EXPERIENCE NOTHING BUT
THE HATRED OF MY PARENTS, ADDED TO EVERLASTING DIS-
PLEASURE IN LIVING WITH YOU. I HAVE, INDEED, A HEART
TO BESTOW, BUT I DO NOT DESIRE YOU TO IMAGINE IT
AT YOUR SERVICE. I COULD NOT GIVE IT TO ANY ONE MORE
INCONSISTENT AND CAPRICIOUS THAN YOURSELF AND LESS
CAPABLE TO DO HONOUR TO MY CHOICE AND FAMILY.
YES, I HOPE YOU WILL BE PERSUADED THAT
I SPEAK SINCERELY, AND YOU WILL DO ME A FAVOUR
TO AVOID ME. I SHALL EXCUSE YOU TAKING THE TROUBLE
TO ANSWER THIS: YOUR LETTERS ARE ALWAYS FULL OF
IMPERTINENCE, AND YOU HAVE NOT A SHADOW OF
WIT AND GOOD SENSE. ADIEU! ADIEU! BELIEVE ME
SO AVERSE TO YOU THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME EVER
TO BE YOUR MOST AFFECTIONATE FRIEND AND HUMBLE
SERVANT.
P.S.- AFTER READING THE ABOVE COMMENCE AGAIN,
AND READ EVERY ALTERNATE LINE TO THE END.